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@25.0718-1317.49 by Atx
Dear Marla,
Lorraine asked, "Doesn't it ever get really hot and sweaty inside your suit when you go out into the woods when it's misty-raining? The humidity is very high -- doesn't that make you sweat?"
I had never considered this. "No, surprisingly. it doesn't," I replied. "Think about it. The latex is impermeable. Just as any moisture inside my suit cannot get out, none of that exterior humidity can get in." Then I giggled. "And believe me! Most times I have all of the moisture I need inside my suit. Sometime I sweat 'buckets' in it - such as when I do the vacuuming or something requiring a bit of physical exertion."
"What happens then?" Asked Lorraine.
"Oh, the sweat used to just build up until I was 'swimming' in it. I'd just have to endure the slow build-up, sometimes to the point where I could feel it sloshing around at my feet as I walked or feel little cool rivilets of it drizzle down my armpit when I raised my arm up to reach for something on a shelf."
"That sounds awful. You said 'used to'. What do you mean??
I had to grin at this. "Oh, that was easy to fix. I used to buy all of my suits with attached feet so that I would not leak all over the carpet. They would always leak sooner or later, and usually at a bad time. So, I would wear latex stockings over the suit to capture any sweat that leaked from the suit. Of course, they , would develop leaks, as well, so that didn't solve the problem. I was still prone to leaving unexpected puddles on the carpet.
"What did you do then, " asked Lorraine.
"Ah!" I replied. "I found a source of these really nice flat-heeled, black rubber boots which come up almost to my knees. The upper part fit snugly over my calf muscle and just a little bit on the roomy side down by my heel and toes. What made them different was that the inside of the boots were not lined. It was rubber on the inside, too. "
I paused to take a sip of my drink.
I continued. "One day I discovered that the particular suit I had put on was leaking at the toe of one of my feet. I was right in the middle of my work day, so I did not have time to change into another suit. (Besides. I don't think I had any suits -- or stockings -- that did not leak at the time)."
I could see in Lorraine's face that she was beginning to pull things together. "So you put the boots on. Of course! They would capture the leak."
"Yes" I exclaimed, "That meant that I could easily take my boots off and dump them out. I go sit on the side of y bathtub when I take them off so that all the fluids go down the drain. I could rely on gravity to move my sweat down into the boots which I could empty as needed. It was not a perfect solution but it was clearly an improvement."
"But here's where it gets even better." I said. "One of the biggest headaches involved with living in a catsuit like I do is going to the bathroom! The only sane solution is a 'convenience' zipper. But that's so damned uncomfortable! Think about this. It's like something the BDSM community calls a 'crotch rope'. It's like having a steel rope that presses against your genitals It does not stretch and is annoyingly wide. When you move, it moves 'down there'... all day long and all night long. It is both annoying and is a major pain in the ass!"
"So, what can you do?" she asked.
"Oh, it gets worse. Zippers also leak! That means if you're even mildly sweaty in your suit, and If you sit down on that nice, (expensive-looking) chair, there's a good chance you'll leave an embarrassingly wet signature on it's tawny colored cushions."
"So hpw did you fix the problem?" asked Lorraine.
"Then I bought a catsuit that had two 'condoms' attached at strategic locations in my crotch. It meant I could insert things. It also meant no zipper. In theory, the condoms do not teak;"
"Oh!" she exclaimed, "that sounds like a major improvement. No leaky, uncomfortable suit!"
I frowned. "Well, there are some drawbacks, too. If you need to pee, there are only two options. You can either take the suit off to sit on the toilet or you can just pee in your suit and let it fill those boots, which can be emptied often."
"I know this sounds gross. But consider that pee is really just mineral water produced by your body. You can even drink it you had to, for a short while. I'm not suggesting we do that, but fresh urine is something we need to deal with."
"Besides, James came up with the game changer!"
"Oh?" asked Lorraine.
"Yeah" I said. "Now I go about my daily housekeeping. I just pee in my suit when I need to and then emptying the boots out shortly thereafter. But by the end of day I could smell that residual stale urine odor. Nope. That was not going to work. "
I continued. "Then James suggested that I needed to 'flush the toilet'!"
"Huh?" repiled Lorraine.
"Yeah. He had me stand in the bathtub with my boots off. He had unscrewed the shower head from the shower hose and had run the water to get the right temperature. He pulled back a bit of the latex at my wrist and inserted the end of the hose into it."
"Lift up your hand, Thalia. Let water flow down your sleeve, into the suit and then out at your feet. After a while he moved the hose to the other sleeve to do the other side. Voila! I can take a 'shower' after I pee." he said.
"That sounds .... er.... 'liberating' but what about all the residual water that is left behind? It would fill up my boots and I would never be dry, which is not a good thing. Extended exposure to high moisture can make my skin get all shriveled up like a raisin. It's also an invitation to infected hair folicles and other fun skin problems," I replied.
I love James. He's always got an engineers solution to practical problems. "Yes, we need to dry you out under your suit." He paused. "Hey, I know... I've got a few old CPAP breathing machines down in the basement. They are, basically, just low pressure air pumps. Maybe, when you are done peeing and have given gravity a chance to drain most of the rinse water out of your suit we could exchange the water hose for a hose from the CPAP and pump air in to dry things out a bit. I'd need to obtain a "Y" to split the hose two ways, one for each wrist."
"So," I replied. "So I stand in the bathtub with boots off and then do the pee-flush-dry routine?"
He grinned. "Yeah, that's about it." Then he giggled. "Your 'dry' cycle might take ten minutes, maybe. We could put a stool in the bathtub to sit on while you are waiting. "
My devious mind when to work. "Oh! Maybe hook up some sort of self-service St. Andrews cross on one side of the bathtub. I could hang there. Hey! Mount a vibrator on it to 'entertain' me while I'm drying out." I giggled.